not doing too good....

My life right now is a roller coaster... thats the best way to explain it! I will be fine for a while maybe a two days or so but yeah... Then I just am not myself... I hear someone say something or someone talks to me and then I start degrading myself and really beating myself up over most of the time nothing! Then I will talk with a friend and it helps and then bam again the cycle begins again! Why why why why?!?!?! I don't know and I don't understand! I wish someone would just come and kill me right now and put me out of my misery! Im sorry I am talking like this right now but it is the way I feel right now. I can't stand hearing people fight about anything and then put me in the arguement oh heck no!!!!!! Im sorry I just can't handle anything right now... I feel like I need to run away or something.. I don't have anywhere to go and I don't have the money or anything... i need a break from life... im so tired... i just want everything to stop!! i dont want/can't pretend everything is ok. when it is not!! My world, my everything is crumbling down!! I just needed some place to right down everything.... im sure in a day or two ill be better than i am right now!