At times I feel very lonely. I know that my friends are there with me and for me. I know God is with me when I am not with or around my friends. But it's like I don't know what I am here for. What does God have in store for my life? I won't ever know that. I can only do one thing at a time. I get so confused sometimes. I can't understand why God would die for me and love me so much. All I am is a screw up and failure. At CrossRoads tonight we were asked this question "What if Jesus really was God on earth?" It was a hard question to answer because as Christians we believe that Jesus is God on earth. This really got me thinking. I am totally confused by everything... I don't know what really confuses me, but I am. I am also lonely. As I said before I know my friends care about me and love me. But I need someone to love me and who wants to be with me. I have never had a bf and I get lonely and I wonder what it would be like/feel like to have a bf care for me. I am waiting on God with this but it is soo hard not to think about it. A lot of my friends have a bf or are engaged or married. And I'm like ok God when are you going to send someone? I guess I am not ready to be in a relationship like that. I don't know whats going on in this department of my life. I feel as if I am not pretty enough for a guy to like me. I have a poor self-image and self-esteem. Most of my friends know this and if you don't know you do now. I think thats another reason I am so quiet and reserved. Maybe God doesn't want me to be in a relationship at all. who knows. It's all in His time.
Time for a Change
14 years ago
2 comments:
Hello my beautiful Jen!
It was soooooooo good to see you last night!! We will def. have to introduce you to my brother again while we are here ;-)
Can't wait to see you again tomorrow!!
Hey hun. It was good to see you too! My mom was with me and I was like there is someone that I am going to have to say hi to afterwards. She didn't want to stay that long so it was cool. Neither did i. I was very tired. I had to work 6:30 till 3. Same for tomorrow. So I will be tired again when you see me. But I will talk to you later! Love ya!
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